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| We open in a night club or bar of some sort. The place is packed with all sorts of people from 21 to 50 or older. Men and women dressed in suits or fancy dresses or jeans and T-shirts. Some rock music is blasting over the sound system at a deafening volume. Some people are dancing off to the side to the song. Buckcherry. "Related." Cool song. The place has all sorts of rock and assorted pictures hung up on the dark blue walls. The place is lit at medium. Just bright enough to see your way around without tripping over anything or bumping into someone. Off to the ring is a long, packed bar where tons of guys are drowning their sorrows while they stare at a game on ESPN. Those poor ladies at the bar are hit on about, oh, every five seconds by some new drunk with a lame ass pick up line. Straight ahead, tables, all with cool small lights on them. The lamp shades are like stained glass style. Very cool. Tons of couples are seated there, some making out, some talking, some eating, some staring around at all the other people. And we are at the doorway. Sharc's entire group is there. He is standing at a large podium where he is supposed to be greeted, but the person is nowhere to be found. Oh wait, here we go. A woman dressed in a dark blue sleeveless T-shirt, white mini-skirt and black high heels is heading their way. She has a name tag. Heather. HEATHER: Hi there. We've got about a 20 minute wait. SHARC: Oh, we have a room reserved. HEATHER: Oh, you do? Under what name? SHARC: John Leary. HEATHER: Are you John Leary? SHARC: No. We're his guests for the evening. Is he here yet? HEATHER: (She looks down at a sheet of paper on the podium.) Uh, yes he is. Okay. How many are going to be in the party? SHARC: Party of 13. HEATHER: Okay, I think the room is all set up. Follow me. She walks around the podium and heads toward the front door. A carpeted wood staircase is just off the left of the door. She starts walking up. Sharc and crew follow. And we cut upstairs. Heather opens a door for the group. Inside, it is much the same as it is downstairs as far as mood. Inside is a long wood table surrounded by chairs. Sitting at the head of the table is John Leary. He stands up as Sharc heads inside. Chelsea whispers something in his ear. SHARC: Big talker. Where is she? JOHN: Sorry. Last minute business thing she had to stay late for. SHARC: Oh well. I thought that might happen. Sharc and John shake hands. John kisses Chelsea's hand. Shirley walks up to him and kisses him full out on the mouth, but he pushes her off. SHIRLEY: Nice to see you again. JOHN: I told you. SHIRLEY: Just saying hello Johnny. JOHN: Uh, Sharc, why did you say 13 people? We've only got eight here? And why is Georgia hanging out with you know. I don't understand that? CHELSEA: She's my personal assistant now. SHARC: Her slave. CHELSEA: Oh, slavery is illegal. Personal assistant. SHARC: Whatever. Well, let's see. John, you sit at the head of the table. Okay, here's how this works. Left side, me, Cam, Victoria, Tooth-Pac, empty, empty. Right side. Across from me, Chelsea, so I get to stare at your beautiful face all night. Then, Jenny, Shirley, Georgia, MJ2 and empty. JOHN: What's with the empty chairs? SHARC: Hey yeah. MJ, where are the dummies? MJ2: Oh man, you aren't really going to make me bring those in here are you? SHARC: You bet your mask I want them here. They couldn't make it tonight for different reasons, but I want them here in spirit. You and Tooth-Pac go get them. Or don't come back. MJ2: I'm gonna look like a retard carrying those dummies through there. TOOTH-PAC: This from a man who walks around 24-7 in a lucha libre mask and wrestling gear. MJ2: What's your point. JENNY: Do your job, Masked Jobber 2. SHARC: Yeah you do jobs, this is another job for you to do. Hey Georgia, you go get the girl dummy. I don't trust these two. I'm sure these two thought that doll was kind of cute and might double team it. Georgia looks up at him but says nothing. She slowly gets up and follows the men out the door. SHARC: Oh Heather, make sure they get back in. HEATHER: Okay. A waiter will be in. SHARC: Give us about 20 minutes. HEATHER: Okay. Do you want menus now. SHARC: 20 minutes. HEATHER: Okay. (She leaves.) John sits down and everyone takes a seat. John stares at the empty chairs. JOHN: Oh. I found that raw tape you were looking for. Why did you want it? SHARC: Hey, cool, they have a VCR here. Let's watch that bad boy. SHIRLEY: What is it? SHARC: Remember the original Masked Jobber and Silent Tim? SHIRLEY: No. SHARC: Oh. Well, I'm sure some of our fans do. Anyway, they were these two guys who used to harass John and Martin Swift about getting a job with TWW. So, one night, way back, Louis and John came up with an idea to debut them on TV. They did a practice run as a dark segment, and I laughed my ass off. I knew if anybody had this, John would. JOHN: It wasn't easy. But, man, those were the days. Shall I pop it in? SHARC: Please. John gets up and walks over the corner of the room. The large television is mounted on the wall and the VCR is in a shelf beneath the TV. He slides in a videotape and turns on the TV. His fingers runs left to right until he finds the play button and pushes it. There is static on the screen. Then we open at one of the arenas where TWW put on a live event. The ring is empty and we just stare at the ring for a few seconds. John walks back to the table and has a seat. Then on the screen, the segment starts as Louis Miranda walks down the aisle to cheers with a microphone. After welcoming the crowd the segment starts. LOUIS: Well, right now we have a very special try out. We have invited a very talented individual to the show tonight to try out for a position in Tidal Wave Wrestling. It wasn't advertised, I know, but this man has been in several matches before and we are giving him a shot to land a job here. But it won't be in a wrestling match. Oh no. We've seen his work, and we are very confident in his wrestling skills. No, we want to see if he has any charisma. To see if you fans react to him. So remember, as you watch this performance, it is up to you, the fans of Utah, to decide with your cheers and applause, or your boos, or even your silence, if you think we should hire one of the best in the business. So, right now, coming out on the main stage, please welcome, to perform a special medley of songs . . . ladies and gentlemen . . . please welcome . . . The Masked Jobber and Silent Tim. The crowd begins cheering as Masked Jobber and Silent Tim walk out of the curtain and wait on the main stage area. They both have a microphone. Music begins playing. There will be a medley of songs they will perform, called "My Name is Masked Jobber," using lyrics to Eminem's "My Name Is" and "The Real Slim Shady," and Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba." "My Name Is Masked Jobber" as performed by Masked Jobber and Silent Tim. Hi, my name is, what, my name is, who, my name is, Masked Jobber Hi, my name is, huh, my name is, what, my name is, Masked Jobber Hi, my name is, what, my name is, who, my name is, Masked Jobber Hi, my name is, huh, my name is, what, my name is, Masked Jobber Hey people, I'm your local jobber Got a record of one win and 54 losses I'm singing this song just to impress the bosses The J.O.B.E.R.S. have arrived, a match with us is like winning the lotto Think I'm lying? Listen to our motto: We are not the best, but we'll give you an easy test Most of my life I've been on my back Sure I lose a lot but I ain't no hack I told my mom I'd grow up to be a famous jobber Lose every match and dedicate them to her I'll let you beat my masked ass I'll job in TWW, even to High Class We are the strong, we are the brave We're the best damn jobbers alive today Hi, my name is, what, my name is, who, my name is, Masked Jobber Hi, my name is, huh, my name is, what, my name is, Masked Jobber Hi, my name is, what, my name is, who, my name is, Masked Jobber Hi, my name is, huh, my name is, what, my name is, Masked Jobber (Silence.) I just drank a fifth of vodka. Dare me to job? * * * May I have your attention please May I have your attention please Will the real Masked Jobber please stand up Will the real Masked Jobber please stand up You all act like you've never seen a jobber before If you wanna look good in your match, just make it with me I'll guarantee you a victory Money back guaranteed, no wait, wait He didn't just say he had a victory, did he? And Silent Tim says, Nothing you idiots, Silent Tim's silent! All the women love Silent Tim! I'm sick of him, jobbing out Getting his shoulders pinned Losing to every one in the game Yeah, but they all knew his name I once won when I begged a guy to stop beating me up He turned round and I hit him in the ass with a baseball bat Then I gave him a jobber bomb It was great, until he broke my legs with a trash can and rolled me into traffic My shoulders on the mat, my shoulders on the mat And if I'm lucky you might not break my legs again That's all I ask is that you don't hospitalize me Cuz I got no insurance and get no money from Swift Of course, if he likes this, maybe he'll hire my masked ass I've got all the jobber skills, don't I? All I ever hear is 1, 2, 3 And the other man getting cheered for beating me But if I can job for Tidal Wave I can put over Chase, Vendetta, Suicide and Corx Throw me through burning tables or into tacks Get in line to kick my ass Sing the chorus and it goes I'm Masked Jobber yes I'm the real Jobber All you other Masked Jobbers are just imitating So will the real Masked Jobber please stand up, please stand up, please stand up * * * I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me (repeat) My name is masked Masked Jobber! I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I was sent her for the losers who can't ever win The Chris Johnson's, Hard-Kore's and all the rest Snake Eyes, Loki, Graduate and Anarchist Volunteer, EOE, Matthews and King Extreme I stare at the ceiling, it's so much fun For masked jobbers, I'm number one Let me get in the ring and lose to someone! I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me I do jobs, do really good jobs, nobody ever loses when they face me The crowd gives them a standing ovation. They take a bow. LOUIS: All right. Now, Swift told me before I came out here that you could have a job with TWW. On the ring crew. Now, if you two want it, you come to TWW headquarters tomorrow and we'll take care of the paperwork. Maybe we'll throw you a match every once in a while. MASKED JOBBER: Ring crew? LOUIS: What's wrong? Many of the greats in this business have been on the ring crew. Barry Horowitz, Iron Mike Sharpe, the Brooklyn Brawler. They all did rings. It's a start. Hope to see you tomorrow. And we'll start the show in just a few minutes. Thanks for coming guys! The TV screen turns to static. Back in the room, the group is recovering from laughter and all have big smiles on their faces. SHARC: Louis as a face. Ah, the good old days, before he joined up with America's Most Wanted. Whatever happened to Masked Jobber and Silent Tim. JOHN: I really don't know. After they left that night, we never saw them again. Maybe they got run over with a bus, maybe they starved to death, who knows. They're gone now. But we own every Masked Jobber gimmick. SHARC: Ah yes. Well, John, we have some stuff to discuss. CHELSEA: Yeah John. JOHN: What? The door crashes open and in walks Masked Jobber 2 carrying a stuffed dummy with long brown curly hair. He drags the thing around the table and puts it beside the chair where he is sitting. The dummy is just plain white with no facial features. MJ2: Why didn't you dress this thing? SHARC: Why bother? It has no shame. Now, in walks Tooth-Pac with a dummy wrapped in a strait jacket. JOHN: What the hell? SHARC: Oh, you recognize this one, do you? Yeah, I thought you might recognize your good friend. And in walks Georgia carrying another doll. This one has long yellow hair. JOHN: (He stares in disbelief.) I don't get it. SHARC: Now all the important people are here. The special group of 13 is represented. And look who is at the head of the table. You are John. CHELSEA: Yeah, John. JOHN: What does that mean? CHELSEA: You are about to be betrayed. By someone in this group. JOHN: Oh come on. You are not recreating the Bible on me. SHARC: Judas is among us. And you, like Jesus, will be betrayed. By someone here in body, or someone here in spirit. JOHN: Are you threatening me? (He looks down at the dummies.) Are you the one who is going to turn on me? SHARC: No John. I'm trying to warn you. I thought I would create this group of 12 followers and then someone would betray me. But, life doesn't always imitate art exactly as I've now found out. You see, you told me to get over as a face. I've done that. But I've also done something amazing in assembling this group. And soon, with your backing, we will rule TWW. You know what I'm capable of doing. And I'll further prove it to you on Shockwave when I shock the world. CHELSEA: John, Sharc is your future. He is TWW's future. Everyone in this company ignores him. Chase fears him. Suicide fears him. Corx especially fears Sharc. Because Corx knows Sharc is the only one in this federation who should be called a god of any sort. Because Sharc makes everyone bow down before him and admit their sins. That they are all liars. And he is the only true one in this federation. SHARC: Remember when I made that checklist? Of how to get over as a face? I've done it all. I've taken insane bumps, witness the burning barbed wire tables bump. I've got a new T-shirt, my You Will Know My Name Is The Lord shirt, the one with me walking on water on the front. Already, it's a hot seller. So hot, that schools are banning kids from wearing it. I've got my you can't fight blah blah blah catchphrase. I've told these fans that I'm doing it for them. I've got more sluts than anybody in the business. I've taken abuse, witness the pathway to hell match. I've bled. Look at most of my matches. I've won. I've got a great record right now. Yeah, I've lost a couple, but one was a tag team match and one was a four-way dance. Odds are worse in those. When I am left man to man, I have yet to be defeated. I've got the serious attitude, I tried to be vulgar, but you thought I was too vulgar, so I toned down quite a bit. Champion's attitude? Yeah, I've got that now. I want gold more than anything right now. And I've also ripped off characters, in MJ2 and Tooth-Pac. I've done everything on my list. And I'm over. And I'm high on the depth chart. I've climbed the ladder and I'm almost at the top rung. But things get a lot tougher where I'm at now. Because I'm now in a league with the best. I'm not playing with low card guys anymore. I have to compete with guys who have main evented. Guys who have worn big titles in this and other feds. And you bet your ass I'm ready to show them I am the man, and they are the past. I'm sick of their attitudes. I am not something that will go away. I'm not going to quit this fed until I have reached the top and beaten EVERYBODY. And on Shockwave, I've got a big triple threat match. JOHN: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. SHARC: Oh. Okay. What. JOHN: Well, first off, I booked this match. For a couple of reasons. One, because you deserved this shot. Two, because EOE lost his match and this is sort of a test for him. And three, Syth and you are sort of at the same point in your careers, and you've beaten him. CHELSEA: Why don't you just come out and admit the real reason. SHARC: Huh? JOHN: What real reason? CHELSEA: It's so obvious. You didn't book this match for any other reason other than you hate Syth. JOHN: Uh. CHELSEA: Everyone in the back knows it. The two of you had an argument. Now you won't even talk to him at the shows and you won't return his phone calls. So you probably figured, hmm, maybe if I'm lucky, if I put the monster EOE and the most extreme man in TWW, Sharc, in the ring with him, maybe Syth will get injured and go away forever. JENNY: Wow. Nice plan John. JOHN: That was not my plan. Really. It's just a coincidence. SHIRLEY: Sure it is. VICTORIA: Who are you trying to fool here? We all know you better than anybody else. JOHN: (He looks at everybody.) Fine. You're right. I can't stand Syth. He is a whiny bitch. He is a waste of my time. I can't stand him. I want him gone. That is the only reason I booked this match. Look, I don't care who wins. Sharc, if you get rid of this pain in my ass, the sky is the limit. SHARC: Gee, John. I don't know. There are an awful lot of faces up top in TWW now. I mean, you've got Chase, Graduate, Dysan, it looks like Corx is going face. EOE too. Not enough heels. It's funny, isn't it? JOHN: What do you want? SHARC: I want to be ME again. I don't want to do this kissing the fans asses crap. I want to do what I want and say what I really want to say instead of keeping it bottled up inside because it might hurt my T-shirt sales or some crap. I want fans who like ME, not some fake gimmick. I want respect for doing what I say. JOHN: You are not a gimmick. The people cheer you because you are entertaining and you put on great matches. SHARC: You know what makes me sick? Graduate. Shawn Chase. Corx. But so do Matthews, Suicide, Dysan, EOE. They all piss me off. They never mention me as being one of the best, and that hurts me. I always hear the same names get praised, like it makes them the best. Every time I see awards, I see these same names over and over and it pisses me the hell off. Syth wins rookie of the month. I'm looked over. I get no angles, I get a feud with Andy Extreme. Meanwhile, we see Suicide and Chase fight on every show in October. It makes me sick. They're like Hogan and Flair stealing my spot. I don't want to be a face. I don't want to be a heel. I want to be Sharc. I want to ruin everyone's lives. Because they don't deserve what they have now. They're living off old hype and crap. They're holding me and guys like him down (he says pointing at the dummy with brown hair). JOHN: Him? Him who? SHARC: You know. JOHN: No I don't. SHARC: I want a shot at the best. Be it Chris Matthews. Or Suicide. Or Graduate. Or the champ himself. I want to show the world just how awesome I am. JOHN: Well, then you have only one option. SHARC: What's that? JOHN: Well, I should say two options. If you win the match, and let's say you pin EOE, a man who has main evented several of our shows. That would make you an instant contender for a title. And if you pin Syth, well, you are an automatic contender for the nations title. But, there is option two. Even if you lose, you still have a shot to make a huge name for yourself. Take out the bitch. Punk his ass out. SHARC: And I wonder why someone here is going to betray you? You are such a twisted, vicious man. JOHN: Syth started this war. Why are you acting like he's the innocent one? SHARC: I'm not. But have you ever heard of forgiveness? Man. I remember we had a fight once and you didn't talk to me for two months. You hold grudges way too long. JOHN: What are you saying here? That I'm the bad guy? SHARC: John, you're a great guy. But when somebody does something to you you don't like, you go off the deep end and punish them for a long time just because you have a little power. You've got to chill out a little bit. You have to work with people. You can't shut them out and try to hurt them. Unless it's your only option. JOHN: Sometimes hurting someone is the only option. SHARC: So that's it then. JOHN: That's it. SHARC: Well, fine, then this is basically a handicap match where me and EOE have to take out Syth. Fine. I can deal with that. John, whatever happens in that match, I want you to know one thing. JOHN: What's that. SHARC: If you ever need anything from me. Anything. CHELSEA: He means it. JOHN: I'm looking in your eyes and I believe it. I just may take you up on that offer. SHARC: Good. CHELSEA: Judas. Hmm. Eenie, meanie, miney, mo. JOHN: Will you please stop that? SHARC: (He looks down at the dummies.) Life is very strange and complicated. Things happen to each of us for a reason none of us understand until opportunity knocks. From the ashes of something bad comes something very good. Rebirth. A second chance. (He looks at John.) Tell me, when your chance at rebirth comes, who will you follow? John only stares at him. CHELSEA: So many gods to choose from. So little time. SHARC: When you decide, you know where to find me. Static We open back in the same dining room. Chelsea and Sharc are alone. SHARC: What do you think I should do? Should I help EOE destroy Syth just so I can get a shot at the big times? Or should I try to beat either man cleanly so I can be considered a legitimate title contender. CHELSEA: Well, there is a very simple answer to that. SHARC: What? CHELSEA: You have to do what is best for you. And you've already made your choice. Option three is a hell of a lot better than those two John gave you. SHARC: Yes, too bad John doesn't know about option three yet. A triple threat match with three options. What will I do? And I bet all you people are wondering that too. Maybe you EOE, maybe you Syth. What more could Sharc do to shock the world this Tuesday? Tune in and find out. Find out what I do to EOE. Find out what I do to Syth. And find out what I do to TWW. The end times are upon us. Will you survive when my vengeance is unleashed? EOE, you won't. Syth, you won't. Because Tuesday, I will make a choice that will change the rest of my life. I will either make the right choice, the wrong choice, or MY choice. Either I will team up with EOE to destroy Syth because my friend John despises him. Or, we will wrestle a regular match and I will earn my spot in this company by proving that I am the best wrestler and performer in Tidal Wave Wrestling. Or, option three. Which is a surprise. And Tuesday will be Halloween. What a perfect night for a surprise. EOE, Syth, put on your Halloween costumes that you call ring attire and head down to the ring Tuesday, and prepare to be beaten up. Prepare for a brutal fight. But most importantly, be prepared to lose. And if you're lucky, losing will be the worst part of your night. Because if you win, well, then I guess my options will become crystal clear to all. But I don't see that happening right now. I have gone through burning tables wrapped in barbed wire. I have been hit with chair after chair, left a bloody mess in the ring. But I'm still walking. I'm not at a perfect 100 percent, but I have never felt better in my life. Why? Because all the pain inflicted on me has fueled me. The competition in TWW is fierce, which makes me even better. And Tuesday, I face two of the best in this company. So EOE, I want you to hit your reverse chokeslam on me. I want you to throw me all around the ring. Hell, you can hit the three drills to hell too. It won't matter. Because I'll be smiling and getting stronger. And Syth you can hit lamagra on me. That move does nothing but wake me up a little. And fusion? Well, it may or may not hurt, I don't know. But I know one thing. Blood in the Water sure as hell hurts, and not one man has kicked out of it yet. EOE, Syth, I've got a lot of thinking to do. But believe me when I say this. As I'm thinking over all the options, I'll be thinking of nothing other than having MY hand raised in victory. Thinking of nothing but destroying you. And EOE make no mistake about it. If I do "team" up with you, it's not because I like you. I don't like you. You've been handed a main event spot in this company for some reason. Well guess what? If I have to, I'll rip your spot away from your cold dead hands. Static |
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